How to: 3 ways to break up, that are more mature than ghosting.

You’ve met someone online, and you don’t like them. So, you want to pull a little disappearing act millennials like to refer to as ghosting.  It is the cowards way out if you think about it. Instead of telling the intended how you feel (being a mature adult), you choose to become an escape artist. Now you see me, now you don’t. Computers and smartphones have made it even easier to leave someone on read (sidenote: if you have an iPhone they can see you read a message and didn’t respond). Thus leaving them on read, you’re welcome non-millennials.). If you throw in online dating to the mix, you now have a powder keg of communication avoidance. You’ve never seen them face to face, so it’s easier to disregard their feelings. I’m here to improve your online and face to face relations. Here is my playlist on ways to end it rather than becoming Houdini reincarnated.

Say it to my face-Madison Beer

Face to Face is always the way to go for more serious breakups. If you are in a relationship with someone the least you can do to look them in the eye. We quickly forget how things are when the shoe is on the other foot. You asked yourself a million questions. Why has this person disappeared? The cell phone that is permanently attached to your hand becomes a fixture for your eyes. Anytime your phone lights up, you’re hoping it’s from that someone. In the back of your mind, you already know that it won’t be. You’ve likely sent a few more text than you should have and stalked them out of existence online. I’m sure you called them hesitating on whether to leave a voicemail. You start to wonder if your phone is even working. It has been with you a while, maybe it isn’t operating properly after all. Don’t put someone else through these mental Olympics, even if it has become part of our culture.  If you have been seeing someone for a while, even if the commitment isn’t official, end things in person. The closure isn’t just for them. It’s for you as well.

Video Phone-Beyonce

Technology has made some aspects of communication easier. If you are in a long distance relationship with someone, then video calling is the next best thing. Traveling all the way to someone can become expensive. It may not even be necessary if the relationship wasn’t official. Video calling gives you all the perks of face to face. The downside is physical touch won’t be there. If you are breaking up, chances are that isn’t a concern.

Text From Your Ex- Tinnie Tempah

This is the last of your options if you were in a relationship. But, if you have only been corresponding through text it’s perfectly fine. When you haven’t spoken to someone face to face, it’s the easiest to ghost them. I see the allure in it. It’s so easy just to not respond back to a message. You never have to talk to them again. We’re practicing better communication skills people. It starts with the text-only level of dating.  Send a simple message. It doesn’t have to be an sms paragraph. Explain that you don’t see your interactions going any further or that we aren’t the right fit for one another. If they want a further explanation, you can give it to them. If you don’t want to give them one, it would be the time to ask them not to contact you. Ask that they respect that. If they can’t well… Blocked.

Technology is an amazing invention. It gives us ways to communicate if face to face isn’t an option. It also makes it entirely too easy to be a coward behind characters and emojis. Being an adult means to be responsible with relationships as well. Making sure you do the right thing isn’t just for when you like a person. It’s for when you are ready to walk away as well.

I hope this helped hone your breakup skills. If you like post like this, let me know. Leave a comment telling me how you broke up with someone. If you have a crazy breakup story I would love to hear it. As always thank you for supporting the blog. You’ve been patient with the changes going on with the site. Don’t forget to like, comment, follow and subscribe to the blog on WordPress and social media.  As always we are accepting pitches from writers. Send them to pinkhairblogger@gmail.com. Label it, Blog Pitch.  Love you guys! Besos!

 

 

 

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Midpoint Check In: Switching Gears

At this point, I’ve been running My Infinite Playlist for a little over half a year. I’ve happy turn up GIF by Originals-sourcelearned somethings about blogging, running a site and the direction in which the blog is going.  So far I have seen a little increase in dedicated readership. Which is what I would like. I want the reader who will stay with us through the journey. The passive readers are great too. I’m confident in the content that I create on this site, and I am sure once a member of our target audience experiences the world of M.I.P they will stick around for good.

“We are from all parts of the world and we like to travel the parts we have never been. Women of Color forge into areas that aren’t seen as traditionally ours…”

New Themes:

I realized the true direction I wanted to take this blog. It started off as an interracial blog, wonder woman beyonce GIF-sourceand I would still like to keep that as a topic that we visit. However, I really would like to focus on the overall theme that black women and other women of color are non-monolithic. We are all different, we are into different music, style of dress, dating patterns. We live alternative lifestyles and we are even into alternative forms of beauty. We can be vegan, vegetarian, pescatarian. We are from all parts of the world and we like to travel the parts we have never been. Women of Color forge into areas that aren’t seen as traditionally ours, like beer brewing and tattooing. K-music, J-music, Latin Pop, Afro Beat, EDM, and rock are just some of the genres where we are widespread and share an interest in. We are feminist, traditionalist, minimalist, members of the 1%, political powerhouses, Rap songstresses, and women extraordinaires. We are all of these things under the umbrellas of being people of color and being women. We can be any label we want to apply to ourselves and not just the label assigned to us. We are allowed that basic human right.

“I want to give a different perspective to people who have confined us to a box according to our assigned gender and race. “

Forging Ahead:

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So in the continuity of this blog, I would like to document those experiences of women. Especially, women of color who are forging in directions that aren’t traditionally ours to be had. I want to give a different perspective to people who have confined us to a box according to our assigned gender and race. We will continue to be all of the sexy millennial fun of man crush Monday, and we will mix it with the radical faces of women who refuse to be labeled.

“I will work hard to stay true to the new vision and direction we’re headed”

Hey You, Yes You. We’re Looking for you!

We are still looking for contributors that share our vision and that can offer a view into giphy (72)the world of women doing things differently. We also want people who can tell their personal experiences and stories of breaking free or living alternatively. I’m excited to share this new direction with you, and I’m thrilled to share a safe space for women of color to be who they are.  As always, thank you for supporting the blog on WordPress and Social Media. I will work hard to stay true to the new vision and direction we’re headed. I love you Playlisters, Besos!

Story Time: A new segment where you read my business in story form. lol

Yall, be careful out here on these dating sites. So, I’m on a dating site minding my own adult business when I matched with a guy that at a closer glance looks 12. I really didn’t think he would message me guys and BAM…I get a message. Yeah, from him the 12-year-old. So, we’re doing the normal dating app tango. How are you? I’m, good How are you? Literally, biding my time before I can ask how old he really is. Then the money questions start hitting. What brings you to this app for 3000 Alex? giphy (77).gifThe Jeopardy questions, do or die. Will you stay with him or have a Change of heart (any walkers with tennis balls or grey-haired wigs remember that show?…you’re also 12? Got it. lol) Anywhosal, of course with my assumption that he’s 12 I pretty much get the answer you are 85% likely to get from a younger guy. “I’m looking for fun.” or my favorite “I’m bored.” which translates as, “I’m looking for fun.”.

With all those exchanges out of the way, it’s time for me to ask the question. I really want to know because you can’t talk about fun with anyone that’s 12. Before I can ask, he beat me to it, “How old are you?”. Ok, that can be an innocent question for a woman of color because look…we do not age. My closest up in age female family members could pass for 40. It’s that deep.giphy (78).gif However, in this case that normally means that they lied about their age on the dating site. I was just sitting there waiting to smugly collect my bet money from myself. I answer his little question and I finally am able to ask, how old are you?

So instead of answering my question, which someone who is only a smidge bit younger would do. He makes the rookie mistake of answering question with a question, “Do you mind if I’m younger?”. I’m already preparing myself for prison because I got catfished by a minor. I’m mentally writing my note about someone putting money on my books just for answering a message from this dude. I’m like, “How much younger?”. The answering a question with a question game starts again. I start looking for cameras around my house from, To Catch A Predatorgiphy (81).gif, and Chris Hansen popping up out of nowhere grilling me.  “Like, if I was alot younger?”, he asks again.  I’m talking to God at this point because I just signed up for this site, out of curiosity at that. It’s day one, and this can’t be life. It just can’t be. I was minding my business on a Thursday.  At this point, I’m demanding, “How old are you?!”.  He finally tells me…hold your breath…18. I’m halfway relieved…sort of. The other half is not relieved. He could still be lying but that’s basically 5 for me. I have to inform this young man (yes, I pulled out my adult language for this, lol) that when he was born Cash Money Records was taking over for the 99 and the 2000, and I remember.

Moral of the story? If they look 12, don’t swipe right. If you accidentally swipe right, don’t answer the message, because they’re probably this many (**holds up 5 fingers).  Has this happened to you? Sound off in the comments below. As always, please don’t forget to Like, Comment and Follow. You can find me on Instagram here, or on Facebook here. Besos!giphy (90).gif

MCM: Zaddy of the Week

I know you’re on the edge of your seats. It’s everyone’s favorite time of the week, or the thirstiest(you choose,lol).  I won’t withhold you from the goods. I give them to you every week. I know all you’re really thinking about is either wedding bells, or doing tequila shots off of a six-pack. My Monday choices tend to bring out both sides in people. So without further ado, your crush of the week. Hey Zaddy!

Kwak Si Yang. My God,lol. 20180122_222133He’s more than age appropriate so I feel comfortable lusting after him. Like not too comfortable, because he’s the kind of hott that if he said hey or even smiled in my direction I’m 1000% sure my heart would be caught in my throat. He’s going to be in the drama, Four Men. Excellent way to have 16 chances (episodes) to imagine what baby Kwak would look like if he ever decided to give love a chance (and I mean me LOL).

I think this post gives me the opportunity to really zoom in on the fact that he’s 6’2. 6’2!!! Gift wrap this man PLEASE!

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This is me appreciating Kwak Si Yang for his personality. LOL!

So pretty much on looks and height alone he’s checked off half of my list (just kidding…not really lol). Anywhosal, I just wanted to say…Kwak Si Yang, I have a crush on you.

Video calling a Tinder Date: How to Video Date

NP: Video Phone by Beyonce, I am Sasha Fierce

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You know, the thing about being a millennial…it comes to be a blessing and a curse.  On one end your blessed with your first world problems. The ones that include your pizza app not working. So, you have to order (xl sausage, mushroom and spinach with light cheese, extra sauce…yummmm) it the old fashioned way…by looking up the website on your cell phone and placing the order online(ughhh…such a hassle). Also, it comes with blessings like the love of your life being one swipe away (or a million swipes and a million messages gone completely left. Seriously, the agony). However, with the blessing of the dating app comes one of the biggest parts about being a millennial. That part is the miles of uncharted territory that you’re expected to discover, make rules for and pioneer for generations to come. Which is also in part, The Video Date.

The Situation

Congratulations! You’ve made it past the stage of matching with that hott guy you swiped right on. You actually can’t believe he checks your very short list of standards at this stage:

  • He hasn’t sent you a picture of his junk
  • He seems nice enough
  • He is at least pretending he’s interested in getting to know you rather than dropping cringe worthy hints about your vagina or how aroused he is

He’s asked or you’ve suggested (however you got here) to video chat (kakao talk, snap or whatever…pick your poison). You want to know the most important thing, outside of whether or not he’ll be naked when you video. Fingers crossed, its not right away (Unless you’re into that). You want to know, What do I wear? giphy (14)How much makeup should I be wearing or not be wearing? Well, I’m here to answer you. After much trial and error myself (you’re welcome).

 

 

I’ve compiled a list of answers for you. The playlist goes as follows on the mixtape:

  • Magic’s in the Makeup- No Doubt The magic is in the makeup. We’re not out to pile it on. You want to look like a human being. The key is to look like your 7,000 pictures on your profile, but hit the balance of looking a little more like you do before you put iton. Look, I’m not a crazy person. Definitely wear a little something if you have it on in your pictures. Just don’t OD.

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  • Change Clothes- Jay Z  You’re not going to a fancy dinner, to the club or to prom. So, let your outfit match your surroundings. More than likely you’ll be videoing him from a coffee shop, your kitchen or lets be honest…your bedroom. Casual clothes are always a good choice. The goal is to look great, but not make it obvious you’re trying hard. Unless you’re into looking like a cast member from Love and Hip Hop or a Real Housewife of (insert franchise here) then I would keep it super cas(ual).  Unless you’re (into that sort of thing) he won’t be seeing anything above your waste. Wait…that is unless he’s trying to make sure the body in the picture matches the body on the video because, lets be honest, some of you people LOVE to capture your body from impossible angles. The distorting of reality angles, It’s nothing wrong with not having a booty, being a little bit fluffier or maybe a lot thinner than what society deems acceptable from one minute to the next. giphy (16)Be honest though. Let your pictures reflect you as close to the truth as possible. Imagine he advertised having a full beard(you know the sexy maintenanced ones that make him look like all man), but he shows up with a patchy Anthony Hamilton or Keanu Reeves beard. The patchy beards that make guys look like they need a full bath and deoderant. The kind of beard that makes him look like he’s modeling Kanye West’s designer men’s wear “requesting” spare change with a cardboard sign. I hope you get my drift because I’m swerving everywhere to drop hints about him appearing like “will work for food”.  Any who if that’s a bad example, Imagine he advertised a full head of hair and he showed up with a hairline that started by his ears. My last example imagine that a guy (insert dramatic climax music dun Dun DUNNNNN!!!) Hatfishes you! You know what I mean. With a hat on this man looks like Jason Mamoa, but when he takes it off he has at least 8 more inches of forhead and a messed up hairline. Tragic! I say all of that to say, just be honest. There’s nothing wrong with being you. Just let a man that likes you in all your you-ness appreciate the real picture.

 

  • Something to Talk About- Bonnie Raitt What do we talk about? This is perhaps the MOST important part because looks fade, people go blind but, personality lasts forever. I’m going to be honest, I’m not beneath equipping myself with fun ice breaker games and would you rather questions to get the party started to keep the party going. There is actually a questionnaire called 36 questions to make you fall in love. And before you start your whining about appearing weird because you just met, No you don’t introduce it as the fall in love questions. giphy (17)Not unless you like adventure and you want to see what he’ll say to you saying it that way. Just say, let’s play the questions game. The 36 Questions That Make You Fall In Love questionnaire actually has some great questions that will help you get to know your potential boo a lot better. A lot of them are questions you would never think to ask. You’ll get to find our if the potential love of your life is funny, witty, intellectual, totally serious, logical, emotional, fun, charming, family oriented, stingy, or a giver.  You know, some things you don’t want to find our after you start to like their asses. So moral of the story; Google is your friend. Look up somethings to talk about.

I hope this short playlist helps you on your journey to the nerve wrecking video call. Remember, if this all just turns out as a play to get you to participate in his naked creepiness…end the call and politely block that ass. Lol! I love you guys. Hit that replay button on playlist if you need a second go around. Don’t forget to Like this post and Subscribe to the blog! Feel free to comment your thoughts to the post! Bye! Besos!

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